The blood in my neck was pumping so hard I could almost hear it. The beat kicked in. It was now or never. Jeans slung dangerously low on my scarily shiny abdomen, a bandana pulled over the bottom part of my face, I strode up the steps. Like a lion scouting its prey OK, OK, like a toddler lost in a supermarket scouting for its parent , I scanned the body-conned, pink-sashed crowd for a woman. The woman on the front row? Her dress is too short. The woman on the stool next to me? Way too lairy. Finally, I see one — a petite blonde in row three.

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